On love

Today, I wanted to try something I’ve never really done before. I wanted to review and add an own perspective to what others wrote before me. I’ve wanted to do this for the longest time, and tonight, I finally found a worthy text to review. Note to the original author, my friend Laurens, who I know reads this blog: this wasn’t meant as a slam, just as a comment - and a not all too serious one at that. Damn, now he’s gonna think I’m going to slaughter him here!

While reading his Love is a battlefield, I had so many own remarks they couldn’t fit into the comment section, so I fired up my text processor, and this is the result.

Overall, the ‘paper’ has a very dark and pessimistic overtone to it (and I believe I know why – a girl nicknamed Eden – although I may be wrong).

The last few words, in time, there is hope yet for true romance, struck me as being the very core of what was being said, with the phrase for me understandably left out. I think this is what the paper is really about. Sad to say, but this is true for too many people (maybe even you!): the lack of love, or presence of the unrequited kind. Nazareth sang it in the ’70s already: love really does hurt. Or Heart’s ballad What About Love is eerily familiar to those who’ve ever been in love, even if you never heard it. Or go listen to Foreigner’s I Want To Know What Love Is. Or Phil Collins’ You Can’t Hurry Love. Or Blink-182’s The Rock Show (or any Blink song, for that matter). Or Cinderella's Don't Know What You've Got. Sorry, but I simply love music!

And then you have the ones for whom it all seems to go so smoothly. Who doesn’t have that friend who has a new lover each week? A new Dutch TV show is climbing the charts. It’s called Oh Oh Cherso, and it’s about 8 guys and girls partying, drinking, and of course spread-eagling a new chick every night. There’s an abundant selection of like shows to be watched, with many more in the making. That’s not true love. That’s instant hedonism, which is, indeed, sanctified in today’s society. Why work when you can play, and why love when you can fuck?

I think that’s not true. There is love somewhere out there. While there are some who haven’t ever been loved by another, most of us have. Just go back in your past and try to recall the feelings, the special moments, the little things and the love. Just reminisce for a moment, if you will. Feeling loved already?

Yes, it does take a huge deal of effort, but when you look past the superficiality that dominates nowadays, you’ll see a wonderful world. And yes, there’s room for romance.

To further illustrate this point, I made this chart of the list of utopian romantic love stories mentioned in the paper. Note that, as Orpheus isn’t part of history rather than mythology, I had to make an educated guess as to when he lived. Clicky for big-res. The X’s mark a period which was talked about. See how far some X’s are apart? Orpheus and Henry VIII ‘lived’ over 20 centuries apart, and you’re complaining that the last love epic was made but 13 years ago? Also, a hoard of new romance entertainment is coming out year after year after year – however, quality is highly subjective and I won’t go into that argument here.

Furthermore, I’m not convinced by the arguments. “Hollywood has … lost its touch,” the author says, adding that “[m]ost Hollywood couples as well have had several husbands and wives, turning the concept of holy matrimony in some sort of contest”. When, pray tell, has Hollywood been any good sort of role model? Partying, promiscuity and OD’ing have always been law there, so why should now be any different? And yes, there are exceptions: Matt Damon, for example, is an international mega-star, but nobody knows anything about his private life (except, of course, for his groupies and stalkers). Many others follow suit.

Yes, in the past, some men were gallant and chivalrous; but the other side is also true. For a long time, women were regarded as useful only for producing offspring; this meant rape was frequently a-okay, especially in time of war – and what nation hasn’t had one enemy at any point? Okay, there are many points and counterpoints to be made here, and I won’t go into the nitty-gritty details, but it wasn’t always sharing spaghetti with a creepy Italian playing accordion in the background, always having Paris or doing some epic dance moves!

The ancient Greeks already accused younger generations of being immoral and sickening, generation X complained about the slacktivism of youngsters, generation Y loves to resent the next generation, and so on. People look to the past for safety, because that’s what they know best. But, newsflash: in 20 years, we’ll surely look back on today and think this was a great period filled with love, happiness and glee. All times are extraordinary times!

All I can say to all of you who are in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, is advice I’ve once received and later passed on to other heartbroken souls: it’s not easy at all to get over someone, but don’t get discouraged! There is someone out there for you, you just haven’t met them yet!

70 days later...

Remember when I posted this? And how outrageous, stupid and overly moronic it was to still have no government 126 days after the federal elections?

It was just brought to my attention that we still don't have a government, even 196 days after those elections! Mind you, the government fell way before that (48 days earlier, if I still can count correctly), and I read somewhere that the meetings were adjourned 'till the new year, for at least 14 days. That will eventually make for a total of - at the very least - 258 days without a federal government!

No, we're doing awesome down here...

(I feel obligated to say that the reason this is is the highly controversial and delicate matter about BHV - in short: as always with matters this controversial, someone will lose power and money if it goes one way or the other; and that we do have a resigning federal government - it can only take care of matters which were already present when the government resigned, but doesn't have a say in anything that has since cropped up.)

I just had sex..

And it felt so good!

Nah man, the guys from The Lonely Island, known for such hits as I'm on a boat and Jizz In My Pants, just released another music video; it's so good, catchy and formitastic I wanted to share it with you, enjoy:

Merry VLC!

I've always really liked the VLC christmassy pic that replaces its normal icon around this time of year:

On the same note and before I forget: happy holidays, everyone!

Last night...

Free food, free booze, free lap dances, a 3 year old promise fulfilled, a guy dressed in a garbage can, watching 10 bikes stacked on top of each other get disentangled, (sadly, almost) making snowangels,...

One might say all this made for one fine evening!

Positive determination?

The topic for today is something that’s been on my mind lately, but I've had these thoughts for years and years. It’s kinda philosophically natured, so if you don’t like that, just skip this one. Go outside. Or read a book. Or do something useful. Anyway, on to the ontological question of the concept time.

Time: does it flow freely, unrestraint by environmental factors, going wherever it pleases to go? Does it care about us? Should it? Or is time something rigid? Something that is nothing? Or maybe we can’t perceive time too well? Can we, then, ever arrive at the true definition of time?

These are some of the greatest questions man has ever asked himself. I myself have a personal opinion on all this: I truly think that all time exists at once, but we see but a minor fraction of it at this very moment. We can’t see past our momentary constraints; to us, time passes and there’s nothing we can do about it. The present is what we perceive at this very yoctosecond.

I hear you think: dude, what about past & future? They should exist as well, shouldn’t they? My answer is: yes, but only in our perception. We can look back on what we’ve done – you can always correctly answer if I ask you e.g. what you had for dinner last night. We, in short, perceive a past.

You can be wrong if I ask you, on the other hand, what you’ll have for dinner tomorrow; but that’s only, I speculate, because humans can’t see the future. Imagine, if you please, a humanoid species that actually can see the future like we can see the past. Imagine that you are a member of this species. If I ask you now, what will you have for dinner tomorrow, you’ll answer 100% correctly. Every time. Note that I’m not saying that you, as part of this species, cannot predict the future in an absolute manner: you may not know the answer if I ask you what you’ll have for dinner in 3 weeks (just as you may not remember what you had for dinner 3 weeks ago). In short: future exists in our minds, but our human perception can neither apprehend nor understand it.

Now I hear you think: you said we perceive past and future. So are they real or not? Do they exist? I believe they don’t: that they’re just concepts we think are real; but, when faced with the real answer (which will, sadly, probably never come), we will learn that everything we thought we knew is wrong (you’ve actually been cheated like this before: think of all the lies you were told as a kid, ranging from Santa to the birds and the bees).

I simply don’t believe in time as we perceive it, I think time is like a river that flows swift and sure in one direction. We are caught in the river, inexorably dragged along, down to our personal waterfalls. We inevitably haven’t got much control of where we’re going either. We can also look at parts of the water where we were, and we sometimes catch glimpses of the place we’re going to next; but all in all, we see but small segment of a giant river.

Someone standing outside the river has full control over what he’ll see next, he can look at the spring of the river (and see the big bang) or he can go to the estuary (the apocalyptical end of time), or anywhere in between. He can view episodes of life over and over again. He can see you falling down the stairs as a kid, the construction of the Pyramids of Giza, the dinosaurs, the Battle of Waterloo etc.; much like we can view any scene from a film over and over again – just go to any random YouTube video and try to skip back and forth a couple of times. See how it’d basically work? (Note: this deity-like figure is purely exemplificative and doesn’t represent my theological views.)

2 demurs people can have inevitably follow from this idea: for one, there is no place for parallel universes. Everything that ever happened, happens or will happen, does so in but one universe: ours. No exceptions. Sorry. Another one is a widespread concern: this is dangerously similar to the pessimistic philosophy determinism: nothing matters for, whatever you do, you won’t be able to alter the future. I say, no, you are able to change the future. Each and every of your actions will resonate in the future, you simply don’t know how. Yet. So it’s interesting to do things and to see where they’ll lead you to. As such, I very much like the name Positive Determination for my views.

Some afterthoughts: some of the more literary-centered readers will certainly have noticed this post being influenced by Vonnegut’s thoughts.  I’ve always liked his writing – even though it’s stacked with sci-fi bullcrap. And again, for the last time, I’m not saying that I’m right or if what I’m saying here is real. This may very well be complete and utter nonsense. We'll probably never know.

Take public transportation, they said! It's a man's life, they said!

Let me start this post by saying this right off the bat: although I frequently use public transportation (yeah yeah, I know – still, it’s one the easiest ways to get around), I’m not one of these people who complain every time the pettiest mishap or delay occurs. I mostly ignore their lamenting and bewailing because of insufficient services – especially when it’s oh so very clear they’re part of the problem. Being 5 minutes late isn’t that bad, who cares? And if that amount of time makes the difference between being on time and being too late, well, maybe it’s you. Just saying.

With that said, let’s move on to what happened to me today. This morning, I left the house on time, i.e. 7:20. I had been planning to ride my bike to Leuven station (and, yes, in English, it’s spelled Leuven, not Louvain, nor some other exotic spellings that often make me chuckle), to, as always, take the train to Brussels, to partake in some fun fun fun Languages classes. All in all, this should take, and normally does take, just under an hour – 20 minutes on the bike/bus, 25 on the train, the rest spent waiting/walking/…

When I stepped outside, it was raining cats and dogs, so I quickly decided that it’d be madness to go about your day in that weather, and that it’d be best to take the autobus to the station (something I also quite frequently do). First mistake. When I came to my bus stop after racing like a madman at the speed of 30 km/h (about 20 mph), I saw a bus just coming to a halt there. I yet had to put my bike away, so I thought, no biggie, let’s just wait for the next one. It’d come in a couple of minutes anyway. Second mistake.

As you might’ve guessed, that bus arrived about 10 minutes late, effectively making me wait in a light snowstorm for 20 minutes. Great. On top of that, a traffic jam prevented the bus from making much progress – when I arrived at Leuven station, it was 8:15. 15 more minutes and the class would start. But another problem loomed ahead: due to a problem somewhere in the Limburg, many trains to Brussels were canceled. Normally, I have a train every 10 minutes at this hour, yet the first one wouldn’t arrive until over 20 minutes later. Just awesome.

So, again, I waited and waited in the cold for what seemed like an eternity. Of course, what with so many trains canceled, everyone (and I literally mean everyone) wanted to get ahold of his/her place on this transportation utility (not everyone succeeded, though). Can you imagine a small train, naturally taking all the time in the world to get to his final destination, packed to the brim with all sorts of people? It was worse: some people felt the need to constantly look for a leftover sitting place – immensely disturbing the sane ones who accepted that there was no such thing left; the weird guy next to me stank; one girl nearly fainted, greatly upsetting ‘my’ compartment. There simply is no such thing as enough.

                                                    

When the train finally arrived in the Brussels-Central, it was 9:12. I reached my class at 9:18 – 48 minutes late, one hour and fifteen minutes after I initially meant to arrive, 2 hours after I set out on this trip.

So, how was your morning?

The Pictorial Paradigm Distortion

First off, I’ve re-read my past couple of posts and noticed the overwhelming amount of emo-ness in them. Not that anyone reads this utter BS of a blog, but I’ll try to cut down on the boo-hoos and bitching (unless, of course, that’s what you like in this blog. If so, I’ll just banter on about the misfortunes in my life. You sadist.) 

I can't really explain my thoughts on this quite well, so, please, at least try to make some sense of this incoherent mumbo-jumbo. But without further ado:

We’ve all done lots of things in our life. Some petty, some important. Sometimes, during the activity, whether it be a party, work, school or a regular social gathering, some people will pull out their cameras and start shooting pictures of the merry united band of guys and gals, and later upload it to a (photo) site, sometimes Flickr or Picasa webalbums, but mostly they put the result of the good times on Facebook.

It’s happened to me lots of times before, and, just now, it happened again. What has, you ask? Well, up until yesterday, my memories of an evening of over a week ago were just in my own memories, and everything I recalled is what would ever be left of that night. Now, however, some photos have been uploaded to Facebook, and I got a whole new perspective to the evening (as well as a reminder not to look like a drug addict when people are waving cameras around. But that’s beside the point.) Now, own memories coexist with, or have been replaced by photos taken at that moment in my life.

This isn’t the first time: many of my memories have been washed away by time; a rule of thumb is the further back, the fuzzier the memory. The perpetual necessary exception to the rule is when photos or videos are taken, because then, I get a clearer recollection of what happened around the time they were taken, with the rest of the period remaining fuzzy.

What I’m trying to say here is that, because of photos, whole perceptions of what happened at many singular points in my life has been altered, for better or for worse. Yes, I know I don’t have the best memory or storytelling abilities (and, as a result, sadly, frequently I can’t share past experiences very well), but it’s freaky to me how one photo can bring back a whole myriad of emotions, memories and feelings of a time long gone. Like a modern sort of Madeleine. Or a veritable window into lost time. An everlasting pitch for legacy.

Lemme clear my throat. Again...

A few weeks ago, I came down with the flu pretty hard. Symptoms included, but were not limited to, headaches, nausea, a running nose, and, last, but not least, coughing. Luckily, I had my prescription drugs, and I soon felt a lot better. Nearly all the problems promptly vanished like freshly fallen snow being dissolved by whatever salt was left over from the anti-snow patrols, spread by a fleet of fast-passing cars. I can tell you that, after being sick for one week straight, this was a much appreciated change.

However, as some of the more attentive readers (all two of you) will have noticed, I wrote “nearly all the problems vanished”. Yes, one of the more annoying symptoms stayed, and is still going strong. I’m talking about the coughing part. Yes, instead of just blowing over, I still have to cough regularly. And I know when it will happen. Half of the time it happens when I strain my throat, like when I’m explaining something fast or when I'm laughing. I inexplicably have to cough. As you can imagine, this isn’t cool. “Yeah, then he went to her, said he’d always loved her and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, so he went in for a kiss, and… *ugh uh ugh*”. Or: “hahaha, that’s very fun- *ugh uhh ugh* “. Not fun. At all.

I’ve tried most of the common patch-ups, like cold medicine, cough syrup and cough drops, etc.; but still: nothing seems to work. It should’ve been fixed weeks ago, yet my coughing still perseveres. Goddammit.

So, dear body: please, please, please kill the baddies responsible for this ASAP. In return, I’ll stop neglecting you (again). Deal? Thanks!